In a move that's sure to have swollen feet tapping in appreciation, the Boston City Council is contemplating a proposal that could revolutionize parking privileges for moms-to-be. Yes, you heard that right. Soon, those adorable baby bumps might just earn you a coveted handicapped tag. Move over, parallel parking panic – it's time for pregnant parking pandemonium!
Councilor John FitzGerald, armed with the wisdom of three kiddos under ten, is championing this cause like a lactation consultant at a breastfeeding rally. According to FitzGerald, if you've ever waddled a mile in the swollen ankles of a pregnant woman or their equally beleaguered spouse, you're already nodding your head in fervent agreement.
The proposal, akin to a doula for your daily commute, aims to address the myriad woes that accompany pregnancy – from mobility mayhem to emergency exoduses from the frozen foods section. And hey, if Illinois and Texas can dish out handicapped privileges for the third trimester, why should Boston moms be left lugging their baby bump baggage alone?
Picture it: a sea of pastel placards adorning minivans and SUVs, proudly proclaiming, "Baby on Board... and in the Belly!" It's the ultimate VIP treatment for those nine months of discomfort and cravings for pickles at 2 a.m. But wait, there's more! Forget about sweating buckets while schlepping your burgeoning belly through the parking lot. With this proposal, you'll be closer to the entrance than a front-row guest at a baby shower – and with no awkward games in sight.
FitzGerald's personal muse for this proposal? His wife, who valiantly battled the trials of the third trimester like a warrior queen with swollen ankles. Because let's face it, folks, growing a human is no easy feat – especially when you're already wrangling a herd of ankle-biters from previous pregnancies.
But beyond the individual plight of the pregnant populace, FitzGerald envisions a city that wraps its arms around families like a snug maternity pillow. Because when families thrive, so does the city – or so he claims, probably between diaper changes and crayon catastrophes.
Of course, no proposal is without its detractors. Critics might scoff at the idea of handing out handicapped tags like prenatal vitamins, fearing an influx of faux disabilities clogging up the city streets faster than a spilled sippy cup in a minivan. And let's not even get started on the logistics – because parking politics are as treacherous as a toddler tantrum in a toy store.
But fear not, weary wanderers of the womb! The City Council is poised to navigate these treacherous waters like a sleep-deprived sailor on the high seas of parenthood. And who knows? Maybe soon, alongside categories like "Legally Blind" and "Chronic Lung Disease," you'll find a new contender: "Physically Rehabilitating from Pregnancy." Because let's be real, if pushing out a tiny human isn't deserving of a parking pass, then what is?
So here's to you, Boston moms-to-be. May your parking spots be plentiful, your cravings be satisfied, and your sense of humor remain intact even when your bladder capacity doesn't. After all, if pregnancy doesn't entitle you to a little extra pampering, then what on earth does?